So I rang up the bank, after trying three different numbers, one for, and I quote, deaf and blind people...why the hell would a deaf person be using a phone? "I can not hear if i am through or not". The other number was for a different bank all together, seems like in the split Lloyds got one number and TSB another. Finally I got the right one, to which I had to put in all my details and yell answers to pointless questions to get to an adviser who says "Do you have the code we sent you?"
"Nope"
"I can't do anything then I will send you another code it will be with you in 6 days"...
"So your telling me I just gave you my account number, sort code, date of birth, full name and address as well as the three digit security number and you wont let me in because your worried about fraud. Why give me a 6 digit number if I have to give you every other bit of information to get to the point in which I have to give you the number? I mean now everyone around me has every bit of information on me anyway!"
"I'm sorry madam but you can do it online"
"oh ok"
"I will put you through"
So then I get to go through to the dumbest German known to man kind. I'm trying to log in but cant because they haven't given me a log in name because I haven't registered. I haven't registered because it wouldn't let me last time and locked me out. So I cant get a username and password until they let me in and they wont let me in without a username and password. He comes on "Madam can I help?"
"Yes I want to make a standing order"
"ok" he says, "I can help you" he says, "don't worry" he says...LYER!
I explained the situation "It wont let you in, oh I will send you another code. But I cant do anything else until you have it. It will be with you in 6 days" MOTHER PLUCKER
"What can I do? Pay pall are going to charge me, to get the cheque I have to go to get my book and my flat mates paying in slip, then find a Natwest to pay it in and there are no banks near me. To wire the money or do a transfer it costs me an extra fifty quid. You people wont let me use internet or telephone banking without a stupid code. How can I pay this? Its your fault, you should be more accessible to people and have more branches. I mean there are more bloody Primarks than banks now, I'm more likely to find a dildo than a bank, Its easier to buy crack than pay a bill." Silence on the other end of the line....
Finally it speaks: "You have to go in to a bank or wait 6 days."
"Wheres the nearest bank. I'm in London Tottenham Court Road."
"What city are you in?"
"LONDON"
"Where abouts?"
"TOTTENHAM COURT ROAD"
"There is one in Hammersmith, that's the nearest to where you live"
"Oh thanks for that, there's only one problem. I don't live there anymore, that is why I don't have my codes, they are at my parents, which I have explained, also I'm not there now!"
"oh...................."
"You know what fucking forget it" I hung up.
Banks...take our money and don't want to give it back. Those filthy retarded bankers just want to put it in their fat pockets...I'm so angry!
